Diane Bolden’s Synchronistically Speaking

What is it that you are longing to create in the coming year? And what do you need to let go of in order to allow it to fully take root?

Are you willing to entertain the thought that it may come in a form that is unfamiliar to you?

Every year, we are encouraged to set New Year’s resolutions. We are a goal driven society that is conditioned to seek more. Our egos desire more money, more fame and prestige, and more stuff. A deeper part of ourselves longs for more peace, more meaning, and more purpose in our lives. We want to move beyond our previous realizations of what we’ve already accomplished to master newer, better ways of doing things – whether that be what we create in our lives or in our organizations – and as leaders what we are able to inspire others to do as well.

Though it is tempting to occupy ourselves with thoughts of how we can go about achieving all of this and what we need to do more of, perhaps what we really need to start with is what we need to do less of – what we need to let go of in order to create the space for something new to come in. We are constantly evolving as human beings – and as communities of human beings. It is so easy to look to the past to define who we are though the things we’ve already done – goals we’ve achieved, titles we’ve acquired, creations we have built. Our previous experiences coagulate to form an identity that is easy to confuse with our true nature.

The fact of the matter is, you are not your accomplishments, your creations, or the sum total of the various roles you play in your life – manager, director, vice president, mother, father, friend, son, daughter, etc. You are much, much more than that. Your potential is limitless.

And yet, we limit ourselves by these definitions. They filter the experiences we allow ourselves to have and compel us to define the form that our deepest longings should take. In order to be happy, we reason – we must get that promotion, achieve this or that particular goal, hit that target. So we continue to go through the motions, doing the kinds of things we’ve always done – on a sort of auto pilot. Some of this may bring satisfaction, and some may bring a growing source of discontentment.

We need to attune ourselves to that which brings us the most of what we truly desire and open ourselves to the possibility that what we really want may need to come in a form that has previously been undefined for us. In short, we must allow ourselves to surrender what we think we know to open up to the mystery that is unfolding in each of our lives.

Easier said than done, right? How exactly do you go about letting go of the known when it is all you know?

We can take our cues from nature. Snakes and other reptiles shed their skin, trees drop their leaves, and caterpillars create cocoons in which their forms entirely dissolve before recreating themselves in the form of butterflies. Even a fish in a bowl cannot stay in water that contains its excrement – the waste must either be emptied and replaced with new water, or absorbed by something else that will remove it from the fish’s environment. Without engaging in these renewing processes, these creatures will die. And so it is of us. Many of us are already walking around encased in layers of old, dead stuff that needs to be released.

What are you holding onto in your life that has run its course? What are the old outmoded ways of doing things that no longer bring you energy? What are the things you’ve acquired that you no longer need? What beliefs are you holding onto that are no longer true for you?

Pay attention to the times that you feel constricted, anxious, or tired and in those moments ask what you can let go of. Don’t be afraid of the answer. Though it may frighten you because it introduces an element of the unknown, following these insights will always lead to freedom and liberation.

Your computer can only handle so much data. If you do not delete old email and get rid of files that have been accumulating over the years, and if you continue to add new programs without deleting old ones, you will find that it becomes sluggish and unresponsive. Just as freeing up space allows your computer to process things more quickly, so too will clearing your own personal space (whether of things or thoughts) allow you to access new levels of clarity and creativity.

You will breathe easier, be more present in every action and interaction you partake of, and bring more of who you really are to what you do. And you will open up the space of possibility that will allow something to come in that may surprise and delight you. Rather than being something you slave away for, it will simply emerge and reveal itself to you.

And of course, any work you do on yourself will serve as a form of leadership for others who, like you, seek their own answers and could benefit from your example of unearthing what is possible and allowing it to take form in new and unexpected ways.

Wishing you a bright, beautiful New Year – and the realization of your most cherished dreams and visions!
 

The above article contains excerpts from my new book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be, available on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.

2012 photo by Vlado.

Butterfly photo by wiangya.

Each year, as December gives way to January, we instinctively feel the opportunity and invitation to begin anew.  One year is over and another has begun, bringing with it the sweetness of infinite possibility.  One way of giving form to these possibilities is to create New Year’s Resolutions.   While it is traditional to make these resolutions at the beginning of the year, the truth is that we can start anytime, anywhere.  It all begins with a desire — sometimes an aspiration to reach higher by beginning something new, and other times a determination to go to the next level of effectiveness with things we’re already doing.   

To create powerful resolutions that are aligned with our highest good, we need to find a way to pull ourselves out of the daily grind and into a space that is big enough for our hearts and minds to roam freely.  It requires that we carve out time to be alone for awhile, so that we can reacquaint ourselves with what’s most important in our lives and tune into what is beckoning to be discovered or unearthed.  In these moments, we can reflect, inquire, and dream.  And we can reconnect with the inner wisdom we all possess that provides the guidance we need to transform vision into reality.

I’ve always found that for some reason, being in an airplane allows me to find clarity.  As the  ground gets further and further away, the little things that consumed my attention before I left seem to get smaller and smaller just like the cars and buildings that slowly disappear out of view.  And then I am flying.  Suddenly I feel as though it is easier to see a bigger picture.  Things fall into place in my mind and I feel energized and optimistic.  I have discovered that climbing mountains and retreating into nature can have a similar effect.

With intention and conscious effort, I believe we can create this experience anywhere, anytime.  The key is to allow our minds to rise above the clamor we are usually surrounded by so that we can get a broader view of our lives and from that perspective see things we may have previously missed.  And this is exactly what we need to do before we can rise above anything else.   Albert Einstein said we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking with which they were created.    When we allow ourselves to get this higher perspective, we can go beyond looking at things to examine the very lens through which we are looking — and make any necessary adjustments.

Our mindsets are like giant projectors.  What we see and do in our lives is based on the movies we are playing and the roles in those movies that we have cast ourselves in.

You can’t expect to be the hero in your adventure if the movie in your mind is a horror flick or tear jerker that has you playing the victim.   So when we set goals, it is not enough to commit ourselves to acting in new ways.  We must also think in new ways.  The other day I heard someone refer to New Year’s resolutions as the opportunity to resolve — or re-solve anything that is holding us back.   And this is exactly what we must do.

It comes down to whatever we identify most with.  If you want to use your time more effectively but you identify with the experience of running late and feeling harried as you rush from one thing to another, it is only a matter of time before your actions will mirror your mindset.  Despite your time management system, you will likely continue to over commit yourself, try to squeeze too many things in, or make more efficient things that really shouldn’t be done at all. 

However, if you begin to experience what it would feel like to think from the mindset of someone who always seems to get the most important things done and have ample time to enjoy life and everything in it,  you will make different decisions, know intuitively what you must let go of and come up with actions and habits that support your new way of thinking.  And you are far more likely to have lasting success.

Upon reflection, I realized that I long for more simplicity and peace in my life, as well as the ability to boldly tackle new endeavors without making them into huge feats that leave me exhausted and overwhelmed.  I have noticed that I have a tendency to complicate and resist some of the things that I know are good for me, but that I am scared of for one reason or another.  In the past I’ve allowed my fear to make things much harder than they need to be — probably so that I can rationalize my resistance to them. 

It will not be enough for me to set a goal to simplify more, complicate less, and take bolder action.  I need to change my mindset from someone who is overwhelmed and overly cautious and fearful about big, bold endeavors to someone who has clear resolve, determination and a lightness that allows me to take myself and everything I do less seriously. 

The other day a handyman came over to fix a dozen or so things that I have been procrastinating for months.  Every time I looked at that list, I felt weighed down.  I never intended to actually fix them all myself, but for whatever reason even thinking about it felt heavy (similar to how some of my major projects have felt.)  As I watched this man spring into action, easily taking care of one thing after another in a matter of minutes and cheerfully coming back to the list to see what was next, I realized that he has the mindset that I need. 

What would it be like to see from that perspective?  What would it feel like to power through important projects and new endeavors with such lightness?  That is what I need to get my head around and into in order for my new behavior to take root.

As we go about our resolutions and goals, we would do well to ask ourselves what achieving those things would give us.  How will they make us feel?  When we can create the feeling of having achieved them, we begin to embody the mindset we need to project the movie we really want to see.  It is important to word goals in the present tense, because these goals are really not so much about what we want to create in the future as what we want to embody and take pleasure in now.  The results have a way of catching up to us. 

When we can already enjoy the feeling of having what we seek and see through the eyes of someone who has already arrived, we can go about achieving our goals with much more lightness, ease and joy.  And from that place, we can inspire others to do the same.

If you’d like to read more about the power our thoughts have in affecting our reality and achieving our greatest goals and visions and how to align them for your greatest success, check out my new book The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be.  For more information or to order, go to www.PinocchioPrinciple.com.

What is it that you are longing to create in the coming year? 

And what do you need to let go of in order to allow it to fully take root?

Are you willing to entertain the thought that it may come in a form that is unfamiliar to you? 

Every year, we are encouraged to set New Year’s resolutions.  We are a goal driven society that is conditioned to seek more.  Our egos desire more money, more fame and prestige, and more stuff.  A deeper part of ourselves longs for more peace, more meaning, and more purpose in our lives.  We want to move beyond our previous realizations of what we’ve already accomplished to master newer, better ways of doing things – whether that be what we create in our lives or in our organizations – and as leaders what we are able to inspire others to do as well.

 Though it is tempting to occupy ourselves with thoughts of how we can go about achieving all of this and what we need to do more of, perhaps what we really need to start with is what we need to do less of – what we need to let go of in order to create the space for something new to come in.  We are constantly evolving as human beings – and as communities of human beings.  It is so easy to look to the past to define who we are though the things we’ve already done – goals we’ve achieved, titles we’ve acquired, creations we have built.  Our previous experiences coagulate to form an identity that is easy to confuse with our true nature. 

 The fact of the matter is, you are not your accomplishments, your creations, or the sum total of the various roles you play in your life – manager, director, vice president, mother, father, friend, son, daughter, etc.   You are much, much more than that.  Your potential is limitless.

And yet, we limit ourselves by these definitions.  They filter the experiences we allow ourselves to have and compel us to define the form that our deepest longings should take.  In order to be happy, we reason – we must get that promotion, achieve this or that particular goal, hit that target.  So we continue to go through the motions, doing the kinds of things we’ve always done – on a sort of auto pilot.  Some of this may bring satisfaction, and some may bring a growing source of discontentment.  We need to attune ourselves to that which brings us the most of what we truly desire and open ourselves to the possibility that what we really want may need to come in a form that has previously been undefined for us.  In short, we must allow ourselves to surrender what we think we know to open up to the mystery that is unfolding in each of our lives.

 Easier said than done, right?  How exactly do you go about letting go of the known when it is all you know? 

We can take our cues from nature.  Snakes and other reptiles shed their skin, trees drop their leaves, and caterpillars create cocoons in which their forms entirely dissolve before recreating themselves in the form of butterflies.  Even a fish in a bowl cannot stay in water that contains its excrement – the waste must either be emptied and replaced with new water, or absorbed by something else that will remove it from the fish’s environment.  Without engaging in these renewing processes, these creatures will die.  And so it is of us.  Many of us are already walking around encased in layers of old, dead stuff that needs to be released. 

What are you holding onto in your life that has run its course?  What are the old outmoded ways of doing things that no longer bring you energy?  What are the things you’ve acquired that you no longer need?  What beliefs are you holding onto that are no longer true for you? 

 Pay attention to the times that you feel constricted, anxious, or tired and in those moments ask what you can let go of.  Don’t be afraid of the answer.  Though it may frighten you because it introduces an element of the unknown, following these insights will always lead to freedom and liberation. 

Your computer can only handle so much data.  If you do not delete old email and get rid of files that have been accumulating over the years, and if you continue to add new programs without deleting old ones, you will find that it becomes sluggish and unresponsive.  Just as freeing up space allows your computer to process things more quickly, so too will clearing your own personal space (whether of things or thoughts) allow you to access new levels of clarity and creativity.  You will breathe easier, be more present in every action and interaction you partake of, and bring more of who you really are to what you do.  And you will open up the space of possibility that will allow something to come in that may surprise and delight you.  Rather than being something you slave away for, it will simply emerge and reveal itself to you.

And of course, any work you do on yourself will serve as a form of leadership for others who, like you, seek their own answers and could benefit from your example of unearthing what is possible and allowing it to take form in new and unexpected ways.

The article above is an exerpt of my new book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be, which will be released on 1/11/11.  The Pinocchio Principle  is a roadmap to help you integrate your head with your heart, utilize your intuition, challenge your limits and move out of your comfort zone to unearth your greatest work while inspiring others to do the same.  It is available to pre-order at www.PinocchioPrinciple.com.  If you order before 1/11, I’ll send you an autographed copy! 

Become a subscriber at  www.DianeBolden.com and receive my free report:  Ten Traps Leaders Unwittingly Set for Themselves…and How to Avoid Them.

Though comments are currently closed, please feel free to email me at Diane@DianeBolden.com with your feedback, questions and thoughts.  Have a specific challenge you’d like to see a post written about?  Let me know.  I’d love to hear from you!