Diane Bolden’s Synchronistically Speaking

Ever get to a place where everything feels way too heavy and burdensome? Well I’ve been there too. The above video features a story about a conversation I had with one of my children years ago that never fails to help me get things back into perspective.  Scroll down for more resources on lightening up.

Here is what I said in the video:

There was a time in my life a few years ago where I was just CRAZY busy.  I’ve always had a unique talent for over-complicating everything — making things WAY harder than they needed to be, and I was doing that a lot. I remember racing to get my kid at daycare and having him be the very last kid to be picked up right around 6:00pm.  And he would look up at me like, “Mom, you’re finally here – I didn’t think you were actually going to make it.”

During this particular week, I had a lot of things falling through the cracks.  I was behind on some major deadlines,  I  was not really feeding my family or myself very healthy food.  I was just feeling like a lousy mother, a lousy wife, a lousy person in general — like I just couldn’t get things the way I wanted to, which back then was PERFECT.  If it wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t good enough.

I remember sitting on the couch with my toddler and he looked up at me and he said, “Mommy can I count on you?” And I thought “Oh my God, my two year old is questioning whether he can count on me!  I must really be awful.” 

And I looked at him and said, “What did you just say?” He said it again, “Can I count on you?” I replied, “OF COURSE you can count on me!”

And he looked up at me with his sweet little twinkly blue eyes as he raised his fingers to my shoulder to count with them, saying “One, two, three, four…”. I just remember looking down at him thinking “Oh my God!” and couldn’t help laughing. Suddenly everything felt lighter and better.

Now whenever I get in that place where I’m out of my mind overwhelmed – and taking myself WAY too seriously, I remember my sweet little boy at two years old — “one, two, three, four….” 

For more on Lightening Up:

Something to Consider

Lightening Your Load: Mind Over Matter

A Story About a Bad Day

Paths to Proficiency

Illustration from Dreamstime by Nlizer.

The above video is about a riddle my young son told me a long time ago that I think about whenever I find myself longing to venture beyond my limitations to explore fresh, new opportunities and unchartered territory. I wonder if he realizes just how much that little story has inspired me. I hope it does the same for you.

Here’s what I said in the video:

One day my son came home with a riddle. He said “Mom, pretend like you’re in a box.” So, I said “okay”, and proceeded to envision walls all around me. Then he challenged, “How do you get out?”

I said, “Well, I punch through it.”

He rolled his eyes and said “No.”

So I guessed again. “I know! I get a box cutter and I slice through the box.”

He took a deep sigh and repeated, “NO.”

And I said “Well, how about if I chew through it?”

He could no longer contain his frustration with me. “Ugh. MOM!”

So I shrugged my shoulders and said, “Okay, how do I do it?”  To which he simply replied,

“You just stop pretending!”

We all have our pretend boxes, don’t we.

For more on moving beyond boundaries:

Busting Out of the Box

The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be

Clearing the Way for Success

Lightening Your Load: Mind Over Matter

Priorities, Productivity and Perspective

Image by Dusan Zidar from Dreamstime.com.

Are you on the verge of something big?   Contemplating a change?  Or in the midst of one?  Ready to light it up and blow the lid off what you’ve previously been able to do — and lead others to do the same?

If so, chances are good that you have encountered RESISTANCE.  It might feel like you keep hitting walls or even like the walls are closing in on you.  Those walls are part of a box surrounding you that keeps you from your greatest work. 

But with a lot of willingness and a little help, YOU CAN BUST THROUGH IT!

If you are a business professional in a formal or informal leadership position that is ready to bust through your box and lead others do the same, check out my new program, Busting Out of the Box.  It combines three of the most powerful learning formats that I know of and that my clients have told me they’ve benefitted most from, and it will be custom tailored to fit the unique needs of each small group of five to eight people who participate…

1. Personalized One on One Coaching Kickoff
2. Interactive Five Hour Small Group Workshop (to be held in the Phoenix area) 
3. Four Ongoing 90 Minute Group Mastermind Sessions
4. Follow up Individualized, Personalized Coaching

WHAT WILL YOU GAIN BY PARTICIPATING?

• Breakthrough results
• Issue resolution
• Individualized attention
• Group synergy
• Focus, accountability and support
• A copy of The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be

For more information, go to www.BustingOutoftheBox.com.  For dates, times and locations, call (602) 889-2329.

This post is the second in a two part article on listening to and answering your call to greatness.  (Click here for Part I.)  It is also an excerpt from my new book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be.

If you are ready to take your leap, I invite you to call me at (602) 889-2329 for a complimentary coaching session to see how I can support you through your transformation. Next week, I’ll post information about a new program I am rolling out specifically designed to help you bust through the barriers that keep you from your greatest work. 

Taking Your Leap, Part II

Anytime you make a decision to go out of your comfort zone, to do something that is new or unusual for you, you will most likely experience a tinge of fear, hesitation, or anxiety. This fear may lead you to question your ability, your likelihood of succeeding, and the possibility of your demise – whatever that may mean for you. It is essential to realize that this fear is a part of your journey as a leader.

It is not necessary to overcome this fear. The key is to use it in ways that serve you, rather than hold you back. Remember the last time you stood on a high dive? You may have felt flip flops in your stomach or a strange surge of energy through your core. Perhaps you turned around and climbed back down. Or maybe you stepped forward, entered the unknown, and bravely leaped off the board.

After having done it once, depending on your experience, it may have been a bit easier for you to repeat the experience. As leaders, we are repeatedly called to dive into the unknown, in spite of our fears about it. We must use the fear to inform us of the dangers, and to provide us with data that will help us make good decisions. But we must not allow this fear to make our decisions for us.

Having faced our fear and moved forward in spite of it, the experience may be positive or negative. Regardless of the outcome, we must acknowledge the progress we have made. If our experience is less than desirable, we can evaluate it and learn from it. Having had the experience, we are wiser for it – far more than we would be if we simply continued to contemplate taking that leap or safely learn from the experience of others instead. And if we are successful, we can build on this experience and use it as a platform for further growth.

There will always be an abundance of people who will tell you why things cannot be done, what there is to fear, and why it is just not worth the risk. Let them speak, but do not be swayed by their doubt. It is based on their own experience of the world, not yours. If you are to lead, you must set the example for others so that they can see that even when you take a risk and fail, you have moved forward and began progress in a direction that would have otherwise been stunted. If you believe you cannot succeed, you may be right. But if you believe you can, you are halfway there.

When was the last time you took a risk to experience something that has been calling to you – something that you know in your heart is for your highest good (and that of others as well)? What happened when you did? What did you learn? And how have you grown as a result?

What is calling to you now? And what small, sweet step can you take to bring you closer to experiencing the exhilaration of moving bravely in a direction that might just take you and others around you to a new level of mastery?

For more on taking your leap:

The Pinocchio Principle:  Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be

Bridging the Gap Between No More and Not Yet

Are You at a Crossroads?

Jumping Man image by Kashak from Bigstock.com, 2011.  Diving Board Image by Carrie Owens from Bigstock.com, 2007.  

This week’s post is the first of a two part article on listening to and answering your call to greatness. It is also an excerpt from my new book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be. If you are ready to take your leap, I invite you to call me at (602) 889-2329 for a complimentary coaching session to see how I can support you through your transformation. Stay tuned to hear more about a new program I am getting ready to roll out specifically designed to help you bust through the barriers that keep you from your greatest work.

Taking Your Leap, Part I

The call to something bigger is often ushered in by a period of discomfort, where one slowly begins to realize that the outer world does not match the inner one. We may begin to feel a sort of incongruence accompanied by increasing awareness of our current course of events and what it is all for. A greater purpose looms in the background, but the way things are set up doesn’t quite allow that vision to live. And so it is time for a change.

Some call this an awakening. Others call it a crisis. It is a doorway to greater meaning and contribution, and the beginning of a transformation that happens from the inside out.

The above video is about a recent meeting I had with a client who is at his own crossroads and an answer that came through the meeting that I believe has relevance to anyone who finds themselves in a similar place.   Over the last few weeks it has become increasingly clear that I want to support more people who are ready to answer the call to take things up a notch and choose something bigger for themselves, their teams and organizations. 

I have decided to take on seven additional leadership coaching clients.  If you are ready to get serious about moving forward, I invite you to call me at (602) 889-2329 for a complimentary thirty minute coaching session that will allow both of us to determine whether working together would be a good fit.  I have been told that I should charge for these sessions and at some point I may.  But for now, they are available at no cost.

Stay tuned for info on an intensive program I’m getting ready to launch that will integrate a small group workshop experience with private coaching and a group mastermind.  Or, give me a call and I’ll tell you about it myself.

Here’s what I said in the video:

I had a meeting with a client the other day that made a really big impact on me because he is in a place I find myself in.  And I think a lot of us are in it.  It’s what I call Limbo Land.  Limbo Land is the place you get to where everything you’ve done up until now worked beautifully.  You could think yourself through any situation.  You’ve mastered your craft.  Maybe you’ve had a lot of education or training, and several promotions and by all appearances seem to have arrived.  And yet nothing is working. Things are falling apart. 

And the more you do what you’ve always done, not only the less effective you are, but the less happy and satisfied you are.  It is a point of pain that causes you to want more.   And what causes even more pain — I saw it in my client and I see it in myself — is wanting to move forward using everything that got you where you are and realizing that it is not working anymore. 

Photo by Sean Kearney

So, the question is, how do you get from here to wherever it is you are supposed to go next?  And the frustrating thing about that is that when you are in Limbo Land is that you have NO IDEA where you are supposed to go next.  You just know that it is somewhere different than where you are now.  And it is beckoning.

Now, that’s the exciting part about it:  there’s something that is beckoning.  And when you get out of the fear, you can start to feel the exhilaration of it, which is where my client started to go yesterday.  I found myself getting really excited for him – and really excited for myself.  Because what’s just around the corner, I think, is going to blow our minds.  We just can’t figure out how to get there.

SO, in the absence of the answers, what I’m beginning to understand and rely on is that we can go do desire.   The desire is about what we want.  What do we want to move toward? 

I’m finding that what excites me about moving forward is not doing things for myself anymore.  Because everything I did up to a certain point was about getting ME successful, to get ME well known, to propel MYSELF.  And it’s not enough anymore.  I want to do something that is going to help other people in some way.  I have no idea what that’s going to be.  And that’s exactly where my client is too.  It’s scary as hell.  But you know, if I can just stay in the place of what would it feel like to get there, that might be enough to help me overcome my fear, and to power on and to do something I never realized I could do.  

How about you?