Diane Bolden’s Synchronistically Speaking

“Insist on yourself; never imitate… Every great man is unique.”  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

About four years ago, I started learning karate with my kids.  It began with the desire to do something fun with my children that would help us all to learn new things and grow together.  Like many people who begin martial arts, my thoughts were mostly around learning the physical application of a practice that would help me and my children defend ourselves and learn to do things we didn’t know how to do before.  What I didn’t realize back then was how much I would learn about myself and life in general.

Karate students are typically taught the basic techniques when they begin – strikes, kicks, blocks, etc.  In the beginning stage, the emphasis is on how to physically perform these techniques, rather than understanding the application – which comes later, once the performance of the technique is a bit more solid.  Gradually, we learned to perform choreographed sequences of basic techniques called katas and one steps.  The next level of difficulty we were introduced to was to utilize these techniques in non choreographed ways doing things like sparring or self defense.

One day, we were asked to perform something called a Shuhari kata.  This was rather unnerving, because unlike the choreographed katas we had been learning, a Shuhari kata is purely the creation of the person doing it.  In other words, you begin the sequence standing in the middle of a floor with people expectantly watching you.  After a command is issued, your task is to create your own sequence and flow using basic techniques that you have learned up to this point.  It requires you to break free of tradition and anything that has been done before, to invent your own application and creative form – one that is completely unique to you.  Shuhari, we were told, would never be the same from one person to another – or even one application to another, as they are performed in the moment in response to each person’s imaginative and inspired impulses, which constantly change and evolve.

So there we were, called up one by one to perform these Shuhari katas, while being carefully observed by karate masters who had taught us everything we had learned, and fellow students.  My first Shuhari kata was rather stilted.  I was self conscious, consumed by the thoughts in my head of wanting to get “right” something that I was told there was no right way to do.  I felt certain that I would do something completely inappropriate, something that would draw laughter or judgment.  I wanted it to be over as quickly as possible. 

I still feel that way to some degree about doing a Shuhari kata.  But over time, I learned that there is something freeing and exhilarating that happens when you give yourself completely to something – when you forget about the people watching you and your own need to do it any certain way, and you give yourself license to invent and to go with whatever you are feeling in the moment.

Upon reflection, I realize how similar Shuhari is to life itself.  During the early parts of our lives we are taught how to survive in the world –what is appropriate and not, how to speak, act and otherwise behave in any given environment – at school, at work and within a variety of other social settings.   The “Shu” in Shuhari is roughly translated as learned from tradition, which is what we all begin with from an early age. 

At some point, we realize that independent thought is necessary. The rules we were taught as children don’t always apply in every situation.  We must use some discernment to determine what behavior will best meet the needs of both our environments and ourselves.  We begin to recognize the individual styles and preferences we all have and how in some cases they may go against the “norm.”  The “Ha” in Shuhari means to break free of traditional training.  When we take a stand to go against a status quo we believe is no longer serving the greatest good, we have reached this new stage of development.

I believe that at some point in our lives, we will find ourselves in a place where we are called to transcend all that we have been taught and conditioned to do and to learn to recognize and flow with our own unique gifts and creative inclinations.  The “Ri” in Shuhari represents that stage in martial arts, when the student is able to go beyond tradition because of their understanding and insight into the martial arts.  All of the greatest artists and masters – in any discipline – have at some point gone beyond emulating the techniques and styles of others to find and applied their own. 

It will not always be easy.  Just as those who are asked to perform a Shuhari kata, we will be carefully observed by others who engage in and may have even taught us the traditional ways.  We will feel exposed, vulnerable and we may lose our nerve.  But the more we learn to give ourselves to the inner promptings of our own unique gifts, talent and intuitive insights and inclinations, the freer we will be, and the more beautiful the world around us will become – as a result of what we have given to it from the very core of our being.

Feel like there’s got to be more to being a leader than running from meeting to meeting, repeatedly fixing the same problems, and beating your head against a wall trying to get people and things to change?

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” ~ Gandhi

We’ve all been to a lot of classes – whether on leadership or related subjects – where we sit passively and listen to someone teach us things from a workbook or a PowerPoint presentation. Some of these classes may have infused us with new ideas and inspirations, others may not have. Either way, the chief challenge is coming back to our daily work and implementing what we have learned. Class or no class, putting into practice the ideas and insights we get on a daily basis is a challenge. It is a challenge because it calls for us to integrate them into a way of doing things that we have established for ourselves over a long period of time.

In order to change, grow or improve in any way, we must consciously look at ourselves – at what is working and at what is not. Often we are so accustomed to running from project to project and meeting to meeting, that we aren’t even aware of the dynamics at play under the surface. This frenetic approach leads to a pattern of similar results, similar experiences, and inevitably similar frustrations, and often the feeling that there has to be more to it than this.

There is.

The truth is, you already possess within you the most significant core essentials you need in order to be successful. The question is, are you using them? And are you using them to the best of your ability? If the answer is no, it doesn’t matter how many new tools you acquire or methodologies you learn. Our chief challenge is not to continue looking to others for solutions and answers, but instead to take the time to tap that part of ourselves that remains our purest potential. The prerequisite for being an effective leader of others is to learn to lead ourselves.

This blog post is an excerpt from a longer article, titled “Leader, Know Thyself – Unearthing Your Best Work”.  Click here to read the full article, which includes practical steps for bringing out your best.  For more articles on Boosting Creativity, Productivity and Effectiveness, visit www.DianeBolden.com/solutions.  While you are there, you can subscribe to receive a new feature article each month.  You will also receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

“The spirit, the will to win, and the will to excel are the things that endure.  These qualities are so much more important than the events that occur.”        ~ Vince Lombardi

Winston Churchill once said, “Success is not final and failure is not fatal – it is the courage to continue that counts.”   Thomas Edison said “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”  These words of wisdom lead me to ponder even the definitions of the words “success” and “failure“.  Perhaps they are nothing more than labels we use for experiences that could very well be integral stepping stones for the people having them.  Both words are laden with judgment, leading us to want to move toward one and away from the other.  But what if they are simply two sides of the same coin?

Consider the following events in each of these people’s lives:

• It has been said that Abraham Lincoln failed in business twice, had a nervous breakdown and was defeated in eight elections. 
•  Walt Disney was fired by the editor of a newspaper who felt he lacked creative ideas. 
•  As a boy, Thomas Edison was told by his teacher that he was too stupid to learn anything.
•  Soichiro Honda, the founder of Honda, was turned down for an engineering job by Toyota. 
•  Before becoming a successful actor, John Wayne was rejected from the United States Naval Academy. 
•  Lucille Ball was dismissed by drama school with a note that read “Wasting her time… she’s too shy to put her best foot forward.”
•  Steven Spielberg unsuccessfully applied to film school three separate times. 
•  Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. 
•  Baseball legend Babe Ruth struck out 1,330 times. 
•  The first novel of best-selling novelist John Grisham was rejected by sixteen agents and twelve publishing houses. 
•  Robert M. Pirsig’s book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance was rejected by 121 publishers before it was published in 1974 and went on to sell millions of copies in 27 languages.
• The Beatles were turned down by the Deca recording company, who said “We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on its way out.”

This list could go on and on.   What each of these people have in common is that they didn’t let labels like “success” or “failure” define who they are.  They didn’t allow the events in their lives (or their thoughts and judgments about them) to get in the way of their dreams or their beliefs in what they were capable of – and what was possible.  And their courage, perseverance and determination benefitted not just themselves, but countless others – many of whom came generations later. 

I came across another great quote by a woman named Susan Taylor who said, “Seeds of faith are always within us; sometimes it takes a crisis to nourish and encourage their growth.”  If this is true, perhaps what some call “failure” is actually a catalyst – or even a prerequisite –  for what others call “success.” 

What is going on in your life right now?  What if it is exactly what you need to experience in order to get where you most want to go?

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

If you liked this post, you may enjoy other articles written about Navigating Through Change, Challenge & Uncertainty .  Download these and others for free at www.DianeBolden.com/solutions.  While you are there, you can subscribe to receive a new feature article each month.  You will also receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.  Also, check out Seth Rodin’s blog post on How to Fail.

“Come to the edge” he said. “No,” they said.

“Come to the edge” he said.

“No,” they replied.  “Come to the edge” he said.

They came.  He pushed them and they flew.

~ Guillaume Apollinaire

I know a man who is tirelessly dedicated to excellence and does what he can to create and evoke it everywhere he goes.  He is a strong leader, who believes in making a difference in the lives of those around him.  His most powerful tool is the example he tirelessly sets for others, who admire his leadership, integrity and heart and would walk through fire for him.  This man treats people with respect, kindness and honor.  He is dedicated to his own growth, and even more so  to the growth of those around him.  And he knows he is ready for something bigger than anything he has previously been a part of.  He’s known that for a long time.

This man’s commitment, dedication and loyalty is solid and unwavering – though some might question whether all the people he gives it to are deserving or have truly earned it.  He puts the welfare of others before his own, and as a result people trust him.  They know he has their back.  Over the years, he has been tried and tested.  He has achieved great successes and endured great disappointment.  But he never gave up.

“Come to the edge.” 

This man heard the call.  He rose up to answer it.  But he hit a wall. 

“Come to the edge.” 

He heard it again, so he took a different route, gathered more strength, got a little more traction and powered forward with greater intensity.  And he hit the wall again, only this time, harder.  Bloody, bruised, but not beaten, he thoughtfully retreated, waiting for another opportunity to rise. 

“Come to the edge.” 

He heard it again.  He came.  He lost his job.

Why?  Unfathomable.  Shocking.  He did not know.  He did not understand.  He gave it his best.  Why was this happening to him?

He charged at the wall.  And he broke through it.  And beyond the wall lies a whole new world, waiting to be discovered by him.  Waiting for his talent, his wisdom, his compassion, his energy and determination – his leadership.  It has been waiting for awhile now, quietly beckoning to him.

I know a man who probably feels like he is in a free fall right now. But soon, he will remember how to fly.  And the world will become a brighter place because of it.

 Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

If you liked this post, you may enjoy other articles written about Navigating Through Change, Challenge & Uncertainty .  Download these and others for free at www.DianeBolden.com/solutions.  While you are there, you can subscribe to receive a new feature article each month.  You will also receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

“Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit.”

~ Henry B. Adams

Like many, I was brought up to think that things happened in a linear way – first this, then that, one building block upon another in a specific order, cause and effect.  I have since realized that when one has a larger vision and experiences this vision as though it has already happened, a chain of events is triggered that results in what may appear to be a disjointed series of events that is in reality very connected.  

This can be compared to watching a movie of a glass shattering in reverse motion.  The pieces come from all directions, seemingly unrelated, to assemble into a perfect whole.  Each piece is absolutely necessary, in and of itself incomplete and incomprehensibly connected to a bigger picture.

There are ups and downs and what may feel like divergent paths from that which we may have previously anticipated.  However, these seemingly divergent paths are absolutely necessary for us to experience the totality of our vision.  Sometimes a part of the healing process involves the experience of pain, or other symptoms.  While we may point to these as signs that there is illness present, we could more accurately see them as evidence of our healing. 

We may not realize the significance or relevance of these experiences until much later, when looking in retrospect we become aware of the distinct reason that we needed to endure any given challenge, setback, delay, or what originally felt like an irrelevant nuisance.  These obstacles give us a greater perspective on who we are, a larger appreciation for where we have been and where we are going, and a compassion for others who experience the same things we have along the way. 

In dealing with these little challenges, we realize that we are far greater than we thought we were.  And as leaders, we can help others appreciate and leverage their own chaos as well.